Then he'd probably pull out a kinetoscope and show them this.
"And you know what else dem Dicks has done? Dey's been and gone and released extracts from dey's books dat you can read on youse kindle and dem don't cost a dime! Now dat sure is a sweet deal! Dere's one dat's about all time travel and moider and dat!
The Trawler Man
And den dere's annuder one dat's all about zombies and moider and dat!
Naked Face Eating Zombies From Romford
And den dere's annuder one dat's all about moider and moider and dat!
"How boss, how'd you do dem hyperlinks in speech like dat?"
"Shut youse yapper, Knuckles, I'm tryin' to tell you about what else dem Dicks has done! Dey's gone and been and done and released annuder episode of dat Heaven's Gate dingus! It beats me how dey's so prolific! Dis one's a bit of terrific coz at first look it seems like some wacky toon dat'll make youse laugh till youse sick, but dere's all dese deep philosophical points dat it's makin' only youse don't realise dat when youse watchin' it coz youse too busy laughin' youse head off!"
Then he'd get out the kinetoscope again and show them this.
So that's what I assume has been going on in speakeasies this week.